Jacob the Great

Jacob hated finishing things almost as much as he loved starting them.  As a result, he had got into a million hobbies and activities, but he never stuck with any of them long enough to get any good.

He begged his mother for months for a guitar so that he could play Black Eyed Peas songs to Angie, a girl whom he liked, but after he finally got one for Christmas, he found out that guitars don't play themselves.

After reading an add in the back of one of his comic books, Jacob decided that he wanted a metal detector, so that he could find buried pirate treasures.  So he mowed lawns all summer. By the time spring came he had saved $200, and he purchased the metal detector.  He beeped it around the park for a while, be he soon found out that no pirates had ever set sail in his neighborhood, and if they had they didn't leave any treasure. So, he buried the metal detector in his closet.  

Given Jacob's history with hobbies, it was no surprise that Jacob's father was reluctant to buy him a magician's kit for his birthday. But Jacob's father was reminded of his own youth long ago, when he quit from football and started karate practice before hardly getting his equipment dirty.  So when Jacob's birthday came around, Jacob was both surprised and pleased to find the magician's kit that he had desired so badly.  

Jacob opened up the box and unwrapped the many parts in the kit. As he did so, he imagined sawing his pet cat in half and putting it back together to the amazement of his friends and family. As Jacob continued pulling plastic thumbs, foam balls, and giant playing cards out of the magic kit, a commercial on the TV caught his attention.  "Hey kids!  Have you ever wanted to go to space?  Experience what it's like to be an astronaut?  Do you want to explore the universe?  Well, now you can."  Jacob's cry rang throughout the house as he yelled, "MOM!"  He now knew what his true purpose in life was.